I have not been diagnosed with this disorder; however, I know I have experienced this ‘paralysis’ for the first time almost 7 years ago. Here’s the story:
I was waking up on another sunny day in downtown Vancouver. I remember not being groggy or feeling tired waking up, but I felt like my mind was in a blur. I knew that I was coming out of my dream state, and waking up. Then I noticed that I couldn’t move. I’m pretty sure I was awake and breathing, but I couldn’t move. The only thing I was able to move were my eyes. And I still remember vividly seeing a weird evil aura from the corner of my eyes. And I truly thought that that evil source was the one putting the weight on me. During this whole ordeal, I was in a panic! I was trying so hard to move; trying so hard to move my head! But I couldn’t, and I was starting to freak out! And that evil aura was still there freaking me out even more! Not sure how long this episode went on for, but it sure felt like a long time. This is the weird part. I don’t remember how I got out of it, but I did. And I continued my day on like nothing happened. Didn’t panic, or stopped to think what just happened. I just got up, and continued on with my day. Actually, I don’t even remember getting up…
However, I do remember telling my soon to be mother-in law my experience, and she was quite concerned. She probably thought, “What kind of lunatic is my son dating!” LOL. Anyways, she told me that the next time I experience it just say this in your mind over and over again: “In the name of Jesus, I rebuke you.” So, this became my ritual, and it helped me calm down every time I experience it.
So I’ve had couple more of these episodes when I lived downtown. And then it stopped for quite some time. Then it started up again. It was probably 2 years ago when I experienced it again. That’s when I ‘googled’, and found out that it may be sleep paralysis. I also found many people believing it may be linked to ghosts and spirits… This kind of frightened me because when I read their experience, it was pretty identical to what I have experienced. The feeling of waking up or rather feeling that I’m conscious and out of my dream world, but not able to move or speak…and feeling like someone is watching me, and seeing some weird aura… But I did a bit more research and read that the experience I have experienced is the result of sleep paralysis. Don’t want to go all technical with terms or anything, but basically my mind was playing trick with me and believing that I was seeing something. And the reason why I wasn’t able to move is because even thought my mind was awake, my nerves weren’t awake. Clearly the neurons in my body weren’t sending messages to my brain that I’d like to move now…
So I decided to blog about this because I just experience it again (it’s been a while since I experienced it), but I was sleeping on my couch this afternoon. I just woke up from a 2 hour nap, and at that point, I was drifting in and out while watching Mark and his brother play PS3. And BAM, I wasn’t falling asleep, but I was losing consciousness…but not fully because I knew what was going on. It was like going in to coma, but knowing you were going in to coma. I know, it sounds so odd! Trust me, if you told me all this, I would send you straight to the psyche ward!! And I wasn’t able to move for the whole time. But with all my might, I would either move my hand or something, and I’d come back alive! This probably happened 10-15 times in a row for 1.5 hours straight. It’s not like I was letting it happen. But once the losing consciousness state happens, there’s no turning back!
Anyways, when I googled sleep paralysis couple years ago, Wikipedia did not exist. And I learned today that not only may I have sleep paralysis, I may have narcolepsy. You can Wikipedia that, but now it’s starting to make sense why I get SOOO tired driving home… my 15 minute commute! Or why my limbs and nerves shut down in the middle of the day.
I think it’s time to have my brain checked out! I’m not crazy after all!!!